#FAIL
Now you may be thinking all of my stories are already failures. In which case you would be absolutely right. However these failures are much different. These are just a few stories of pussy being within reach but Ijust couldnt make it happen. Partly because I’m pathetic, and partly because woman are stupid deceiving creatures, you decide!
WAIT, YOUR A WHAT?
I met this sexy Latina chick online. We chatted for a couple of hours on webcam about nothing. She was hot, I thought she was way out of my league, in the looks department. Though I still tried my look and asked her if she wanted to come over and chill. She agreed, so I went and picked her up and she was even more sexier in person. We got back to my place and I introduced her to my roommates Marvin and Russell, they were jealous and impressed (YES!). I took her into my room and started giving her a back massage. She liked it, so I am ready to fuck. I go in to kiss her neck and she stops me
Latina: What are you doing?
Me: What do you mean? I’m kissing’ your neck.
Latina: Ahh, I told you I’m a lesbian.
Me: What! No you didn’t you said you were bi.
Latina: Yeah, and I have a girlfriend.
Me: So what did you even come here for?
Latina: You said you wanted to chill.
Me: I hope you know your walking home.
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I’M JUST A BITCH ASS NIGGA
Another girl that I met online who I also thought was way out my league, I actually became really good friends with. She would come over a couple of times a week and we’d hang out and watch movies, sometimes she would even cook for me. She would always stay the night and would never bring anything to sleep in, so she would always end up sleeping in her panties and one of my t-shirts. We even slept in the same bed together, but she looked so good I was always to intimidated to make a move. Not even so much as a dry hump while she was sleeping. We eventually lost contact when she stop taking my calls. Now that I look back on this I know she just wanted to fuck me all those nights that she “forgot to bring sleeping clothes”, but I was just to much of a pussy to make a move.
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FAKE MODEL
This new girl started working at the airport pushing wheelchairs. She claim to be a model but the bitch was pushing wheelchairs, need I say more. She showed all the guys in the work place her bikini photo shoot pictures, which actually weren’t bad at all. She actually did have a nice very slim model frame. At that point I had to have the pussy not because she was hot but because everybody else now wanted to fuck her. I wrote my number on her time card and she called me the next day. We talked and set up a date to the drive in. When I picked her up I was not impressed. She didn’t have that model look to her, maybe because she was ugly as fuck and resembled Chauncey Billups, I don’t know, but I still wanted to fuck her. At the drive in she let me feel on her a bit but not much. We went back to my place and laid in the bed fully clothed. I tried to get her to fuck but she wouldn’t because of some first date rule. However she did let me suck her titties and she played with my dick. At one point I even asked her to kiss it and she did it. But she refused to suck it.(STUPID BITCH) I took her home after she refused a blowjob and ended up beating my meat alone to petite model porn.
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GREEDY BITCH!
I went on a double date with a friend of mine and a girl he was trying to fuck, she brought her big ghetto booty cousin along. The cousin was super thick, with way to much ass for my extra regular dick to handle. But I tried my luck any ways. We had a dinner and a movie planned even though I was broke as hell. We decided to go to Fridays. I was so broke I had to wait and see what she was going to order, so I could make sure I had enough money to order something for myself. Everybody ordered normal meals but this bitch goes off and orders a full slab of ribs with all the fixings. I couldn’t afford to pay for her feast and mines so I pretended I wasn’t hungry. When she got her food she started murdering the ribs, one after another and never offered me any. I just sat there watching everyone else it like a sad hungry puppy. We then went to the movies I had just enough to pay for both us. I tried to make some moves in the movie but this bitch fell asleep and slept the entire movie. My boy ended up fucking his date that night and I went home and beat off to fat booty porn.
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MARVIN’S FAT GIRL
My brother brought a chick home one night which is very rare. To no surprise she was some drunk ass 200+ pound Humpty Dumpty shaped bitch. But I wanted to fuck her anyways, and so did he, and so did my other friend that was over, hanging out with me. Long story short; all 4 of us ended up in the bed trying to get her to put out. She it wasn’t happening fast enough for me and Marvin so we left and went to the living room. We started to crack jokes about how fat she was and how she looked like big pun. Unfortunately she heard every word from the room. She burst out the bedroom and out the front door crying. I ran after her still trying to get laid, but pretending I care about her feelings and didn’t mean what I said. I drove her home that night, she gave me a hand job in front of her apartment, but left before I could cum. I went home and beat off to bbw porn.
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SEAN TOOK MY GIRL
I met a white chick online and after a few conversations she was ready to meet. I didn’t have any place to take her, so I called on my boy Sean. Sean agreed to let us use his place. When I bought her over as soon as she seen Sean she was in love with him. I immediately became the third wheel. I watched them flirt and eventually Sean took her to the basement to fuck. While I stayed up stairs looking stupid. I ended up taking her home that night whiteout even fucking her. Though when we did pull up into her drive way she gave me a blowjob, well basically she just let me jack off into her mouth until I came. While this Isn’t a total failure because I believe as long as me or one of my boys gets laid then the night is a success. But this is still pretty bad Sean stole my bitch.
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TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM
A girl Sean was trying to fuck had invited him over one day. She was home with her sister and cousin. So of course Sean had to bring someone for them in order to fuck her. He called me up and told me the situation and I called my brother up and ran it by him and he was all for it. Sean and I drover together and my brother met us out in the parking lot before we went in. When they opened up the door I saw 3 things I short slim sexy chocolate chick (Sean’s girl). A nice thick light-skinned chick (the cousin). Finally a 5’6 230lbs koala bear (the sister). So there’s no surprise that the koala bear wanted me. Sean disappeared into the bathroom with his girl. Marvin ducted into a bed room with the cousin. So that left me and the koala. So what did Marcus do? I told her I left something in my car and never came back. Now I’ll be honest normally I would have strapped up and prepared for that bear fight. But Sean and Marvin were there and if they knew I fucked her I’d never hear the end of it, so I ran like a little bitch.
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I COULD HAVE CRIED
When I moved to the DC area I went through a bit of a dry spell mainly because I didn’t know any chicks there. So I started looking for hook ups on Craigslist. I found an older sexy Latina woman who could have been a porn star, and she was eager to get me over to her place. I actually lived in northern Virginia and she was all the way in the city. I hadn’t brought my car down from Detroit yet so I had no transportation. The only way I was gonna get to that Latina porn star pussy was public transportation. So about 2 bus rides, over 5 train connections 2 hours of being lost and 4 hours total I finally found her place. When I open the door she sitting in the sexiest see-through lingerie I ever seen in person. I start to take off my clothes and she stops me:
PornStar: Business first
Me: What you mean? What business?
PornStar: Just put the money on the table.
Me: What money?
PornStar: Baby you gotta pay to play.
Me: What! are you kidding me?
PornStar: look if you don’t got no money than you gotta go!
I could have cried at this point. I barely had enough money to pay for the multiple train and bus rides. So I begged and pleaded but she put me out any ways. I was so pissed off but there was nothing I could do about it. So I did what I always do, I found a train station bathroom and beat off in it before I began my long trip home. (FML)
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WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
So I met this chick on phone chat at work. And we texted all that day nonstop. She invited me over after I left work. When I arrived at her place she was babysitting. We started talking and things were going very well. We walked a few feet outside the living room into the dining room, out of view of the baby and started making out. I had her against the wall, with one leg in the air fingering her and kissing her, while she’s playing with my dick. She stopped and told me she was going to go take the now sleeping baby to the bedroom. When she left I did what any guy would do, I checked the freshness of her pussy. I took a big whiff of the fingers I had in her pussy, and it kinda made me turn my nose up. It wasn’t a bad-smelling pussy but just enough to turn my nose up. Well apparently she saw me do this, through my reflection in the huge as mirror behind me. So when she returned she through me out. She didn’t give me an explanation but during my ride home it hit me. And of course when I got home I beat off.
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Marvin