Ms.Kimmy Goode Goode
Like I’ve said a million times before, I love to masturbate. Which is not really a bad thing because I’m pretty sure everybody does it, I don’t care who you are. I don’t care how much you get laid. Or how sexy your significant other is. I’m sure Hugh Hefner just likes to get away from all the pussy floating around at the Playboy Mansion 24/7, and just likes to hide away and pump his dick once in a while. There’s nothing wrong with a “Casual Masturbator” not one bit. However, when you take things overboard and step into the “Pathological Masturbator” category things suddenly change for the worst.Unfortunately for me I was a Pathological Masturbator by age 13. Up until about 16 masturbation was basically my girlfriend. I thought about her at work, I thought about her at school, she practically was all I thought about and for good reason, I knew she would always be by my side.
As a PM I would go through strange masturbation phases. This is basically where you become devoted to a particular type of porn and only that type for a period of time. For example, if I was in my anal phase, I would exclusively watch anal porn and nothing else for days, weeks, or maybe even months at a time. Then once I was done with that phase it may not interest me again
Posted on July 9th, 2011 by iBlackguy | 2 Comments »The Lisa Chronicles: Lisa and The Gang
This is part3 of the Lisa series. If you haven’t read part 1 and 2 yet then CLICK HERE for part 1, or CLICK HERE for part 2
So after me and Lisa’s last bloody incident, I had pretty much thrown in the towel with her. I just could not win. One bloody massacre in her car, a blood stain on my sofa, and a bloody ass condom stuffed in my pants, and on top of all that her pussy was horrible. This was even a lot for ME to handle, and I’m one of the most vile people on the planet. I couldn’t believe it but this bitch’s nastiness was actually burning me out. What made it even worst was that I actually liked her. When she wasn’t menstruating on me, she was cool to hang around, good-looking, very nice body and it appeared she felt the same way about me. But then again who knows, I could have just been some dumb fuck, she bleeds on from time to time for shits and giggles. Or maybe she would do shit, just to see how far I would go for some pussy, which is clearly pretty fucking far. Then go home and tell her friends what a fucking idiot I was. But like I said “I had PRETTY MUCH thrown in the towel.” I still had a little tiny bit of hope for Lisa and I. I imagined we’d hook up again, have some intense blood-free sex, she would give amazing blow jobs, be anal friendly and we’d live happily ever after. However this wasn’t the case.
One day a few of my friends and my brother were all hanging out at my neighbors place. We got on the topic of Lisa and of course, I became the butt of all the jokes. They talked about how I kept going back to her after she kept bleeding on me and how I am so in love with her and so on. I tried to deny it all, but in the inside I knew everything they were saying was true. So to prove to them that I actually had no feelings for her and was in it strictly for the pussy, I agreed to call Lisa over and see how far she would actually go. This was a brilliant plan. If she came over and was offended by my intentions then I knew she might actually like me. But if she came over and got wild and crazy with all my friends, then I would know she was a whore and while it would kind of hurt me I could look on the bright side of things and be happy that I have a hot whore in my life. So I called Lisa up in front of everybody and began to run some bullshit game on her to test the waters. Keep in mind its broad daylight out and I haven’t really spoken to her much since she left the bloody poop stain on my sofa:
Posted on June 29th, 2011 by iBlackguy | 8 Comments »The Roommates
So every guy has found himself in a position where he’s dating/trying to fuck a chick. Everything is going great until he meets her best friend, roommate, or maybe even her mom, and they turn out to be way hotter than the girl there actually involved with. It’s a fucked up situation but it happens. I’m sure 99% of those guys have thought, hmmm… maybe I can get a 3 some out of this. Or hmmm… maybe I can pull of the old switch-a-roe. Then they quickly snap out of it and realize that both scenarios are damn near impossible. Now this would be the logical thing to do, but I’m Marcus and I don’t think logically. I think with 1/4 of my brain and 3/4 of my dick.
So the girl from another one of my stories (The Miranda Chronicles) introduced me to one of her friends. She was a dorky white girl, not attractive at all besides the fact that she has a vagina, she was really into me but a bit of a bore, so I wasn’t that impressed by her. Not that her looks really mattered to me much because I would have fucked her if she was a paraplegic.
Posted on June 22nd, 2011 by iBlackguy | No Comments »The Lisa Chronicles: Lisa Leaks Again
This is part2 of the Lisa series. If you haven’t read part1 yet then CLICK HERE
So after Lisa poured blood all over me in the back seat of her Honda Civic, most men would have been just short of car bombing the bitch. But nope, not Marcus, it only took me a couple of weeks to get over it and I was right back in the chase for the pussy like my name was Kyle Bush.
We began to talk on the phone again like nothing ever happened. Although it did briefly come up and she apologized about it. The apology that I wanted lye right between her thighs, and it rhymed with “pushy”. As time passed I started to like here more and more almost girlfriend material. I also became more comfortable around her. Not due to the fact that I was almost elbow deep in her bodily fluid weeks ago, although this was a factor. It was more because she was a cool person and we got along really well. Not to mention she was super freaky. She use to go out shopping at Victoria Secret, buy up some sexy outfits and get on webcam modeling the new outfits for me. I loved it. Corsets, crotchless panties, ass-less nighties and more, she would change into 3 or 4 outfits in 1 night. Then she would eventually start masturbating as I beat my meat on the other end, which I would never admit to her I was doing because I felt like a pervert doing it. This went on for a while until I got her to hook back up with me.
Posted on June 16th, 2011 by iBlackguy | 6 Comments »I’m Just Sayin’: Foreigners
And this goes out to all my Hispanics, Asians, Africans and any other foreign group of people living in the united states. Please learn some fucking English. I mean, I know you plan to come live in the US years before you actually even get here. So Isn’t that long enough to learn the fucking language? And even after you get here you spend years speaking your own bullshit “woolah wallah” language. You want to be American so damn bad right? Well that’s what we do here, WE SPEAK ENGLISH. To many times I find myself trying to communicate in a mixture of English, some other language and sign language when I’m trying to get a car wash or order an egg roll. Now maybe I’m hatin’ because my foreign language vocabulary is only about 20 words deep. But that’s perfectly fine with me because every other language sounds stupid anyways. You ever think that just maybe if you learned English you could get a better job than cutting grass or shoveling shit? I’m just sayin’
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Posted on June 10th, 2011 by iBlackguy | No Comments »I’m Just Sayin’: Urban Mohawks
So you got your self a mohawk? I guess now your “kool”? Or “hip hop” or different, right?…Nope, your just STUPID! you know why? because you just went and shaved the sides of your fucking head for a fad! meaning you better fall in love with that fucking mohawk day after day, because guess what? Your stuck with it for the next 2 to 3 months or until your hair grows back. And as for being “kool” or “hip hop” you failed. How? You may ask…. And I’ll reply, because “every body and there fucking momma” has a fucking mohawk now. Literally! The other day when I was in Cleveland, downtown at Tower City. I saw a mother-daughter with matching urban mohawks. So some lady pretty much forced her 10yo daughter to have a mohawk. I immediately wanted to throw a glass of hot lava in the moms face.
So basically, mohawks don’t make you more “hip hop” or “kool”. It only makes you look like a stupid follower. And if I ever get my hands on a glass of hot lava, the first bitch I see with a mohawk will be a victim…I’m just sayin’
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Posted on June 6th, 2011 by iBlackguy | No Comments »I’m Just sayin’: Shape Ups
I just cant stand seeing these fucking shoes on peoples feet. I mean do you really think your going to get a workout with these goofy boat shaped fucking shoes on? Yesterday I seen an old lady in a wheelchair with some on. BITCH WHY? you are 70 and cant even walk. Why the hell would you buy Shape Ups? It took every bone in my body to keep from close-lining her clean out of that wheelchair. Shape Ups are definitely a FAIL! and death to anyone who wears them.
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The ASU Girl: The Worst Girl Yet
During my brief stay in phoenix my sex life pretty much went full circle. Meaning I probably fucked one of the best looking chicks, if not the best looking I have fucked to date. But in the same week I also fucked one of the most horrific looking bitches I ever SEEN to date. And sadly I fucked the gorgeous chick before I fucked the beast. This just goes to show that pussy really doesn’t have a face. But of course this story has nothing to do with the gorgeous chick. This is just another repetitive story about how me; Marcus fucks yet another fat girl and just becomes an even sadder disgrace of a human being as my life goes on.
Posted on May 31st, 2011 by iBlackguy | 1 Comment »The Down Syndrome Kid
So I always find my self in awkward situations. It doesn’t help that I am very shy, quite and always feel like I’m out of my element. But most people don’t see this because I think I do a pretty good job of hiding it. But not always..
So I’m on a flight from LA to Phoenix, one of those tiny planes where it’s two seats on each side instead of three. I’m always very excited about these planes because I’m always stuck with a guy way bigger than me and we spend hours fighting over position on the middle armrest. But not this time, this time was different. I got to sit next to one of gods greatest creations…a kid with down syndrome! Lucky me!
Posted on May 20th, 2011 by iBlackguy | 2 Comments »#FAIL
Now you may be thinking all of my stories are already failures. In which case you would be absolutely right. However these failures are much different. These are just a few stories of pussy being within reach but Ijust couldnt make it happen. Partly because I’m pathetic, and partly because woman are stupid deceiving creatures, you decide! Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on May 20th, 2011 by iBlackguy | 1 Comment »Phone Chat, Tranny And A Fishy Hood Rat
During my final few months living in Detroit I was fucking lots of bitches from phone chat services. That was my primary spot for picking up new pussy. Mainly because the Internet was getting increasingly harder and harder to pick up woman for some reason. I blame MySpace. Now you may be thinking “why don’t you just be a man and pick woman up in person” and then, I might have responded with “bro, I pick up plenty of bitches in person” then go on to tell you how solid my game was and how much of a pimp I was. While this wouldn’t be a total lie it would be stretching the shit out of the truth. The real reason I mainly picked woman up online and over phone chat is simple . I’m a pussy.
The Whitney Mammoth
Just before leaving Detroit I hit my “pussy peak.” I was fucking bitches left and right and sharing the wealth with my friends. Which was not always appreciated. Let’s just say our quality of standards in woman were a lot different to say the least. Better yet let’s just say quality of standard for myself barely existed. I was still pretty much relying on my short list of qualifications, so basically you were an eligible fuck if u showered a minimum of twice a week and didn’t have open sores within 6 inches of your vagina.
With me being at my pussy peak and all, I had began to have options to who I wanted to fuck. But still fucked mostly fat depressing sloths. Mainly because I think of myself as an overweight, decent looking, average size penis guy with not much to offer in the likes of sexual pleasure and these fat girls really know how to stroke my ego and pump me up and make me feel like I’m the only one that matters. (thank god for fat girls) So by now it’s no surprise this story is about yet another fat girl.
During my usual prowl across the Internet looking for weak minded fat girls to validate, I came across Whitney. Little did I know at the time but Whitney would later help solidify my position in fat girl domination. Whitney and I met online on some website chartroom I frequented a lot I believe it was Crushspot.com but I’m not sure. When we first started talking I could tell 1 thing right away She was defiantly fat. I knew this because she referred to herself in her screen name as “thick”, and we all know that means she was a fucking whale. Thick is a very vague term when your talking about body types, Fat girls realize this and exploit it like it was a half price Chinese buffet!
To any unsuspecting “online hookup virgin” the word thick usually means nice thick ass, thick thighs, and curvy hips. But to a pro like me Thick actually means “to ashamed to call myself fat”. Now if most people were aware of this stretching of the truth they would run the other way, but not Marcus. Marcus kicks off the breaks and its full steam ahead, next stop Fatty-land. Not because I’m a chubby chaser but simply because she has a vagina, and I like vaginas. Another reason I knew she was overweight is because she was interested in me and my pictures. And we all know any chick that’s interested in me is either fat, blind, in a wheelchair or retarded.(FML)
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Food Fetish With A Fat Girl
Back in about 06-07 when I was about 17-18 after high school I was living in Detroit and working out in Romulus at the airport loading bags. Now if you’re from metro Detroit you know this is about a 30 minute drive on a good day without traffic and my 1995 Plymouth Acclaim which my roommate and brother Marvin rightfully nicknamed ‘The Taffy’ due to its box shape and powder blue color didn’t always feel up for the ride.
So when I met this 26yo lady named Vicky that only stayed 10 minutes from my work, and walking distance from my moms place I was feeling pretty lucky. Although I did meet her on the old Yahoo Messenger Chat it felt like a sure thing. And I say old Yahoo Messenger because there is no longer a section for user-created rooms anymore, these were basically custom rooms created by the users. But mostly just pedophiles, cross-dressers, rapist and perverts such as myself hung out there don’t judge me!. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on April 20th, 2011 by iBlackguy | 3 Comments »Porn,Masturbation, And A Walkie-Talkie
Back when I was about 14 or 15 I was living in Inkster MI. A small ghetto just outside of Detroit where everybody knew everybody. Just think if Compton CA. fucked Charlotte NC. and had a baby you would come up with Inkster. Small quiet laid back but rid with crime. I’ve even heard it referred to as Lil Detroit on occasions. But let’s be honest there’s only one fucked up city in the world that deserves to be called Detroit and that’s Detroit. I moved there when I was about 12 or 13 and although there was crime around I never took that route. I was too stupid to. (Yes I was to stupid and scary to be a criminal and make lots of money) Not because I knew it was a bad thing to do mostly because I was lazy and stupid and there was only one thing on my mind SEX.
The Lisa Chronicles: My Bloody Mustache
One weekend, back when my brother and I were rooming together in Detroit we decided to have a night out. I could be wrong but, I believe this is actually the first time we ever partied together. We have hooked up with girls together a few times but never really hung out and partied together. And when I say WE “hooked up with girls together” I don’t mean we actually fucked chicks at the same time, although that did happen once, but that’s in a different story. But I mean either: