The Lisa Chronicles: My Bloody Mustache

One weekend, back when my brother and I were rooming together in Detroit we decided to have a night out. I could be wrong but, I believe this is actually the first time we ever partied together. We have hooked up with girls together a few times but never really hung out and partied together. And when I say WE “hooked up with girls together” I don’t mean we actually fucked chicks at the same time, although that did happen once, but that’s in a different story. But I mean either:

A) I had a chick and she had a friend so in order to fuck her I had to bring someone for the friend.

B) I talked a chick into fucking both of us one after the other. Or on different occasions.

C) I had 2 hookups from either the phone or Internet and sent him to fuck one of the girls pretending to be me.

During the years we stayed together I easily got him 95% of the pussy he ever got those years. (And you know it’s fucking true Marvin so I bet not hear your shit) So for our first night of parting together we went out to a party a friend of mines was throwing. At that party is where I really got drunk for the first time and my confidence level was out the roof. Shy timid Marcus left the building and horny drunk “I want your pussy nectar Marcus” was in full effect. I must have kicked game to every chick at the party with no success. It may have had something to do with my sorry excuse for a wing man Marvin. Or the fact that I was drunk off my ass and was walking around the party demanding people to give me dap with sound effects.

Anyways I finally started talking to this cute chick Lisa. Lisa was slim sexy and I remember bragging that she looked like Alicia Keys after the party. She was at the party with her boyfriend and some of her boyfriends co-workers. She was sitting at the table all alone and I started to talk to her. I can’t remember exactly what was said but after I established she had a man and he was at the same party I needed help. I remember asking Marvin to watch my back and let me know when the boyfriend came back to the table. Mean while I’m spittin’ some serious game, my game was so solid it would have had Ellen DeGeneres ready to let me penetrate her anus. I was fucked up so I’m not 100% sure of this but who cares. Before I knew it I was typing my number into her phone, 305 299….until her boyfriend accompanied by a co-worker walked up. (Thanks Marvin)

They walked up right behind me and when I turned around nervous as all hell the first thing I looked for was my 6 foot 2, 280lbs. wing man and brother. Although he is soft as a Teddy bear inside, his size can intimidate, but he was nowhere to be found. Christopher Reeves could have been a better wing man. I then looked at the boyfriend and co-worker and I was relieved. They were both only about 5’8 120lbs light-skinned and looked pathetic and scrony, like two Iraqi orphan teenagers. I at the, time was 5’11 230lbs. Although they were small I still had a situation on my hands that needed to be handled. I quickly went through my options and decided to play drunk and with good intentions. I turned around and pretended I was way drunker than what I was and as if I was expecting them to walk up, the conversation went something like:

Me: Ohhh what’s up bro? You Lisa’s boyfriend

BF: Yeah who are you?

Me: Oh, I’m Marcus I was just telling your girl that me and my girlfriend just moved into town and we all need to chill together since we don’t no anybody here.

I don’t remember how he replied but this pleased him. (Dumbass) I made sure not to hide putting my number in her phone. For two reasons, for one: I was already holding her phone with my number half way in it and two: So I’d appear more on the up n up and not sneaky. After a bit more chitchat with them they walked off and I sealed the deal with his girl.

By the next morning I was bragging to Marvin how sexy this girl was and how she looked like Alicia Keys, how I got her number right in front of her man blah blah blah. Marvin quickly cut the bragging short when he told me how she didn’t look like Alicia Keys and was not as sexy as I thought. This would be confirmed for me when she added me on MySpace and Marvin and I spent a good 30 minutes debating whether she was a lesbian or not. While she didn’t turn out to be Alicia Keys she still was pretty sexy and had a very nice body compared to what I usually pick up. But Marvin insisted we call her Beer Goggles which stuck, and is what all of my friends including me refer to her as and they probably have no idea of her real name at this point.

Now your probably wondering why this story is called My Bloody Mustache and for that will have to fast forward about a month. Goggles and I had been hanging out quite often for the past few weeks, but I was too scared to really make a move. Partly in fear of rejection because she was a nice girl and sexy and I felt she was way out of my league. But one day I invited her over when me and a couple of friends were all getting drunk. Which turned out to be not as good of an idea as I originally thought.So with my place being occupied by drunken disrespectful rejects we decided to go for a ride.

We rode around a bit in her Honda Civic and finally decided to park and talk. We pulled behind a nearby strip mall which all the stores were closed as it was after midnight so it was pitch black in and outside the car, perfect for some car sex. We began to talk but the only thing on my mind was sex. I eventually made the first move and that lead to us making out in the front of her Honda Civic. The Honda Civic has bucket seats and the center console was getting in the way so I suggested we move to the more spacious back seat. She agrees, and we relocate. When we get to the back seat I sit in the center seat and she gets on top of me straddling me and we catch up on our make out session. I start to suck her titties and rub her pussy and she is already wet, breathing heavy and is really into it. I pull my dick out and start rubbing it on her clit and she loves it! Then she asked if I had a condom, and I didn’t. So me being the gentlemen I am I agreed to no sex. Fuck! I could have cried. Oh well, I figured I’d make the best of it and and started to finger her and she was soak and wet by far the wettest pussy I ever played in. Even fat girl pussy. I was amazed at how wet she got. Both of my hands all the way up to my wrist, her inner thighs and even dripping down to my shorts covered in pussy juice. LITERALLY! The more I fingered her the wetter she got, and I was loving it. I started kissing her down her stomach and finally made my way to her pussy.

I took one lick, and said to myself “hmm taste kinda funny” probably just sweat (I mean it was the middle of summer). I licked again and it was worst. I look down at her pussy as close as I could without alarming her but didn’t notice anything abnormal. Until I caught a glimpse of my hands. It was so dark in the car there were only two visible shades, dark and darker. Everything was pretty much dark except my hands they were darker. I reached up clicked on the light, and immediately felt myself holding back the urge to knock this bitch through the Honda civic windshield. I was finger fucking her with a full on PERIOD!. There was fucking blood EVERYWHERE!! EVERYWHERE that I thought was wet from her pussy when it was dark, was actually BLOOD! all over my shorts, the floor of the car, the seat, her thighs, and both my hands nearly no skin visible all the way to my wrist, all covered in blood. I didn’t know what to do first, do I charge this bitch for the free abortion she just had on my lap or slice her throat and throw her in the trunk.

Instead I yelled “GET THE FUCK UP.” She got off me I hoped out the car started pacing wiping the now partial dried up blood off my hands while she is following me apologizing. I noticed a faucet attached to the building, I run up to it and turn it on but only 3 drips of water fall out.(FML) At that moment I felt like I was in the desert and I just saw a mirage of a lake only to run up to it and it didn’t exist. I went back to the car to find something to clean up with. She had a McDonald’s cup of soda so I poured that all over my hands. That helped a little but not much. I popped her trunk and found a notebook of hers and began ripping out pages and wiping the blood off. About 200 sheets of notes from her classes at the community college and my hands were mostly clean. So with my shorts and part of my shirt plus a few drops on my shoes still bloody and 200 pages of blood stain papers scattered all over the ground. I started to walk home pissed-off. When I was nearing my house I just remembered, OH MY GOSH I licked this bitch pussy!!! I ran up to the nearest car bent over looked in the side view mirror and there it was, My Bloody Mustache, just above my upper lip dead center about the size of a nickel. I had a bloody Hitler Mustache (FML) I quickly wiped it off and returned home.

I couldn’t really hide what had happened due to the fact I still had her blood all over me including the blood that would stay under my cuticles for the next few days. But I did hide the fact that she gave me a bloody mustache, until now.

Now you would think this would teach me a lesson, and make me think twice about things, but no it didn’t and I still talk to Lisa to this day. In fact it only took me about 2 weeks to get over this and I was back trying to fuck her again. I did eventually fuck her and that’s a whole other story to be written..

CLICK HERE to read the next story in the Lisa Series Lisa Leaks Again

Posted on April 19th, 2011 by | 2 Comments »